On March 17th, 2005, I had a surgery to tighten my upper arms, and a breast reduction. It was just after a year from my gastric bypass.
It was a whole lot of changes.
I haven’t been writing much about it. Before I brought my blog out here, I’d started this whole blogging adventure on MySpace, and it was there that I was really trying to tell my story. Since I’ve been at this site, I’ve focused primarily on the present.
But there certainly is a story, and I need to capture it before it blends in with the din that is my entire past. I am already forgetting all the shocks and transitions and adjustments I’ve made over the last 3 1/2 years. I sometimes forget all that. And I should remember it; I should sometimes leverage the fact of this path so that maybe I’ll go a little easier on myself.
What I don’t forget is who I always was. I’ve adjusted so well, and I don’t forget who I am; I carry with me a confidence that I only found through losing this weight (and the cosmetic surgery). (Some of the weight has come back. Most of the gained confidence remains, and is mine forever.)
But who I was, who I grew up as, the child/teenager/young adult/adult that I spent most of my life as… that is never out of reach. Always on the tip of my tongue.
Me in a comment on Danny Miller’s blog, just today (I’m referring to being a 6th grader):
I was a fat girl who mostly avoided the kissing parties… because I was a smart, hip fat girl, and I didn’t want to suffer the humiliation that came either with being ‘passed on’ or being stuck with someone who was grossed out by being stuck with me. Read the rest of this entry »
