dancing trees, on-the-air epiphanies

So busy. So tired. So warm and wiggly. So miserable. So content. So odd, this period of my life.

LAST weekend, the 16^th, I took Friday off and Joe came up. It was an awesome time.  We had gone back and forth about what plans to make and what to cancel, trying to make sure we didn’t overbook and overwhelm ourselves.  It wound up being this perfectly balanced weekend… when I got back to work on Monday I was refreshed and relaxed and had gotten so much accomplished. How often does that happen?

Friday GuitarBlogging (oops! except it’s only Wednesday!)

Look, I’m really sorry I haven’t been writing. I have been busy and when I’m home, tired. I need to figure out my desk set-up; even with the dining room/office conversion, it’s still not comfortable enough.

Last weekend Joe was up, and among other things, we went to Orien Rose’s 9th birthday party, which was a full-blown Halloween theme.

Point is, I looked frigging adorable. This is an old costume that I made about 17 years ago, that I’ve pulled out every few years, but was never well maintained. This year I started working on it a few weeks in advance, and devoted some real thought and energy into it.

This thing is SO ME on so many levels.

I am baffled.

Check this right-brain/left-brain thingy out.

Not a big shock that I come out right-brained. But I absolutely cannot see it the other way, to the point where I feel like the very notion that anyone can see it the other way is just crazy talk.

Have at it.

Friday NephBlogging–adventures in babysitting

Last Friday night, for the very first time.

Benjamin is 18 months old. And he is delicious. But he is reserved, and lets you in when he is ready. Arthur, my also delicious 17 year old nephew, was a wide-open baby. At six months, I showed up for a visit and Arthur lit up in recognition. Benjamin does not do this, not even with Grandma, who has spent time with him at least once a week from the very beginning. Benjamin lights up, but only when he is good and ready.

Benjamin has also never made a habit of sleeping through the night. Even as recently as a few weeks ago, his parents tried letting him cry it out, and he threw up. There is no toughing it out with a kid who throws up from crying.

AND his parents had been out of town for a couple of days earlier in the week, arriving home around 1am Thursday night. Benjamin was so happy they were back, he wanted to just play all night. Until 5:30 in the morning. Friday he took an extra-long nap. Friday night Aunt Roberta arrived so that Mommy could meet Daddy in time for the Police concert.

There’s a limbo moon above

I don’t want to complain here, that’s not what I want to express, but it is interesting.

I go to work every day but I don’t have a job.

I have this thing with Joe but I don’t have a boyfriend.

I’m pretty broke but my bills are mostly paid.

I feel okay. My general state is wellness. In many ways I am in forward motion… more yoga, less pain, (did you notice I said my bills are mostly paid?) I don’t feel lost, and yet I don’t. quite. feel. as though I am anywhere.

(And when he said it, I burst out laughing.)

“Why would you want friends you weren’t attracted to?”

Joe and I were on the phone the other night. We hadn’t actually spoken in maybe a week… limited texts and emails was all. And he’d read my blog, and knew about the thing with the other guy, but this was the first time I could fill in the details for him and just… talk to him about it. We really do have a unique and beautiful relationship, Joe and I.

Anyway I got to the part where (this other guy really needs a blog code name but I haven’t been able to come up with just the right one) other guy wants to actively pursue a closer friendship with me and I say to Joe, Right, because that’s what I need. Another friend I’m attracted to.

To which Joe replies with the opening quote of this post.

Speechless!