The faithful light.

I have been, as per my norm, extremely busy and extremely tired.

And my enthusiasm waxes and wanes.

These elements conspire to keep me from blogging.

The whimsy of my moods will always baffle me. Yesterday I was alone for much of the day, doing a variety of things, and feeling low and grumpy. I tried to write, but nothing came. At one point there was a small burst of something and some upliftiness and I sat down to write, but my day had run too late, and I stopped before I had really gotten started.

And now it’s Sunday evening, and I’m exhausted again, from a full (and filling!) mother’s day.

So okay, to explain the performance photos. Tuesday evening I played in a showcase at Blend in Ridgewood (happens to be the town I grew up in).

To bring you up to speed: Historically, when I perform, it’s just me and my guitar. In a coffee shop, in a corner, for an hour or three, playing oldies and not-so-oldies and sprinkling in a few songs I wrote.

So this showcase was a whole different thing. There are a handful of singer/songwriters, each is booked to play two short sets (2-3 songs in each set) of original music only. There is a stage, a great sound system, and like, focused attention.

Plus, Blend hosts national acts in their main stage downstairs. And they pull from the showcase talent pool to get opening acts for said national acts. (Currently Paula Cole, Graham Parker and Shelby Lynne are all on the calendar.)

Tuesday night my friend Todd joined me. So for the first time in like, ever, I wasn’t up there alone. And neither was my guitar.

As you may recall, I have been working with Todd recently to record some of my songs, because one of them (Stowaway’s Compromise) is going to be featured in the opening sequence of an independent film. Todd has a home studio setup. I am laying down my guitar and vocals, and Todd is playing bass and adding, in some cases, percussion and possibly a bit more (we’re not there yet). (and not necessarily in that order.) So far he has put down a bass track on one song. Todd is a wonderful musician.

Tuesday was a trip. Todd and I pretty much ‘rehearsed’ out back for about 15 minutes… he’d only ever played on the one song we finished recording. He’d never played the songs, I’ve never played the songs with a bass line coming in.

We were really great. Really solid. I am extremely happy with where I’ve come to as a performer. I remember getting feedback a few years ago about what I wasn’t bringing forward. I am starting to have so much more integrated into me, as an onstage presence. I am confident, I am professional (you would never have known from my demeanor or song performance that the strange sounds of the louder-than-I’m-used-to monitor, not mention Todd’s bass, were f-ing me UP!) I am funny, I am comfortable. I take my time, I own my space, and I nail every song.

People dug my stuff. (Those who did not know me.) I also brought a nice crowd; a terrific turnout showed up for me.

I think that what I am most pleased about is that Todd was impressed. He’s heard crappy (and off-pitch) recordings of me (yeah, those myspace ones that I link to here, which will be replaced soon enough), and I’ve played him some stuff, but this was a whole different level, and he got it. So he is a whole lot more ‘on board’, which is awesome.

Our plan is to do another showcase at Blend in a few months, when he and I have come further with the recordings (and therefore have rehearsed the songs more), and to build a bit of momentum. We both felt it was a beneficial night, and want to make sure another one is as well. We also want to coordinate the evening so that the other performers are of equal or greater caliber; Todd works with other acts, so it could be all his people in one room, which would be amazing.

My personal plan is no more gigs of the caffeinated nature. A year ago I hadn’t done it in years, I lost my job and started it up. I’m glad I know I can do it. But it doesn’t go anywhere, and really, I’m not that girl. I need a stage, and an introduction, and I only want to do things with potential to move me forward, or network, or… forward moving networky stuff. It is time to be selective.

Okay a smattering of what else has been going on… crazy busy at work, Benjamin is now speaking in full sentences and it’s the cutest thing ever, two people who are close to me announced within 24 hours of each other that they want to find (in one case) and meet (in the other) their respective birth mothers, I attended a ‘care circle’ for a friend who is riddled with cancer, I attended a wonderful party for mine as well as several other birthdays (and got so sick from food that I missed our annual Beltane bash, which was pretty upsetting), (but thank you Ray and Tracy!), I have a date next weekend with someone who met me a year ago and has waited this whole time to ask me to dinner ’cause of how he lives in Iowa, I found dark eyelash glue, I hit a few yoga classes, I had dinner with some great friends last night, and my shoulders/back/neck are in miserable pain again.

Is all.

I am happy someone authorized the return of leggings.