I never finished my story about last weekend. And now it’s a whole week and weekend later. I’m finally noticing that I’m a little depressed. It’s fine, it comes down to that sometimes. When the good things stop keeping me stimulated, it does fall to that. And it’s been several weeks of stress, and many more of physical pain, exhaustion, disappointment in myself, and (how country song does this sound), loneliness.
It’s not as bad as all that comes across, all of those elements are spread out across a normal life that has lots of lovely compenents. I just need to see them all lined up that way once I’ve acknowledged that oops, I’m feeling like ass and I slept for a day and a half.
Last week I babysat for Benjamin, which was like, so cool. He is just this excellent little friend now; he speaks really well (and tries with every communication to improve upon it). Thursday I only worked half a day for some doctor’s visits (ugh, now maybe I have an ulcer. this may be part of the depressed). I was off work on Friday, so Thursday night I got to go over to the Notch and I had me an absolute blast. Fine fine music, and my friends Michael and Cindy showed up, and I just had a great time.
Last night (Saturday) I came up to Orien’s for some drumming. The drumming was light, but I was here for the company and the vibe. I have not seen O’s face (or the face of Orien Rose, for that matter) since back in November. It’s Sunday morning and I’m still here. It was definitely what the doctor ordered. Although… next week is Free Spirit and everyone is going and I am not. I just didn’t pull it together financially, and I didn’t make it a priority because I wasn’t sure I wanted to be there. But now that the weather feels like summer (and holy CRAP does the weather suddenly feel like summer) and EVERYONE is going and I’m sitting by a fire listening to drumming, I am totally sad I’m not going. Joe will be there and I want so much to go and be with him which is part of my motivation for not going. Because of how, you know, if I go it won’t be with him. But I miss him so much and have been dreaming of him and mostly just hugs in the dreams. I miss his hugs a lot, and how good he smells. But uh… I miss it all.
Okay, so tomorrow back at work. And work has now become this less-than-comforting situation. We’ll see, on that one.
Proceed to the story of last weekend’s voiceover workshop. Read the rest of this entry »
