Roberta’s Voice

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Archive for June 16th, 2008

Living alone.

Posted by Roberta Lipp on June 16, 2008

I was on my way to bed when I remembered something from earlier.

Let me backtrack to say that on the bus coming home from work, I sat next to a guy who lives in my complex. A lovely young guy who has a brand new baby daughter; just a few weeks old. We yakked the whole ride… very nice. And one theme that came up for me was living alone. It’s one of the things I hate about being single. And I’m not talking about all the alone time; that’s fine and, in fact, would be a weird adjustment for me to make. I’m talking about the vulnerability of it. This is what my neighbor and I spoke about. Sometimes you want a man around to protect you.

I can’t believe I just allowed those words to escape.

Earlier this evening I had the weirdest, most sudden and shocking moment of dizziness. Hard to describe beyond that. It was intense, seemingly unprovoked, and terrificly short-lived.

And I didn’t know what to make of it. I checked my pulse; it was not racing. Or too slow.

I looked at my phone and thought, anything else happens, you reach over and call 911. Even if you’re going down and can’t speak, you at least dial those numbers.

I was fine by this point. I was fine probably six seconds after it started. But what if something was next?

I walked to the front door of my apartment and unlocked both locks on my door. I figured if anyone had to rush in to get me out, they could probably get let into the building, but why break down a door?

I just remembered all those thoughts as I was shutting down for the night, locking up my front door.

Posted in Reflection de Roberta | 5 Comments »