Madman drummers bummers

This may have been the longest time between posts ever. I’m not willing to abandon this blog, because I believe in its regenerative power, much as I believe in my own. But I have felt neither the same amount of drive nor of need to be writing in here.

I’d like to say I’ve been writing a lot for Basket of Kisses, but I haven’t, at least not this week. This week was brutal at work though (two very late nights). It has been endlessly busy and strenuous at my job. I think I will find a bit of balance in the new situation, but not for awhile and, I suspect, never as comfortable as it was before the re-org.

Wait until the dust settles

After the first acupuncture treatment I started sneezing (the next morning) and then a few days later there were more symptoms (swollen glands) and finally today, the tenth day, I called in sick and went to the doctor. Who says it’s not an infection, and gave me a script for cough syrup which will loosen everything up and make me better.

Whatever. I’m never sure how they draw the line between infection/antibiotic and not an infection/deal with it.

I also got to see my chiropractor who is so brilliant but I only see him when I’m out sick because of his hours. So through the worst of my crippling pain I didn’t see him. I am very glad to have been adjusted by him today. I am doing so much better in that area.

I spoke to Joe today… just back from his uncle’s funeral in Ohio. The uncle went from heart trouble (I think I have that right) to cancer to funeral in less than three weeks. Very sad for him, and for the family.

So okay, here’s my whole blog

Though this thing definitely gives recency more prominence, this is still really beautiful.

Well, this could get addictive

Go here. Paste in any text, and it makes a word cloud, featuring the words you used the most frequently as the most prominent. There are different styles and fonts.

This is my previous post:

Fusing and diffusing

“You find magic in your god and we find magic everywhere.”
the Christians and the Pagans, Dar Williams

Orien called a little while ago. I was supposed to go to a drum circle at his place over the weekend, and I couldn’t because my back was so badly hurt. He called because he wanted to see how I was doing. He called because sometimes he calls.

He said he’d just had a vision, and please pardon the hippie crap (his plea, not mine). I told him I love that hippie crap. He said I should be using my blue stone. (I think that’s how he put it.) Then he laughed and said he didn’t even know if I had a blue stone.

So, funny story. I have a green stone. It is definitely not blue, but it is a gentle, earthy green. Joe gave me this stone last year, the same weekend he bought me the jacket.

I told O that I carry a little pouch with me of magical things that I gather… mementos from rituals, trinkets charged with different properties. I carry it with me in my pocketbook every day. When I change pocketbooks, I make sure it comes with me.

Supernatural delight

Thursday night I was so tired. I’d been out late at a really fun work/drinking function the night before. It was the first time I was able to arrange to stay at my brother’s for such an occasion, so getting home that night and back to work the next day was a relative breeze. But I didn’t get in until around 1:00 am, and though I slept ’til 8:00, it was a drinky, not restful, sleep.

Independent of the sleepiness/hangover, Thursday was a pretty rough day. Very few people were in the office, and I was it for my entire department, so any work to be done, it got done through me. We all got busy enough that we had to order in lunch. Fortunately, I still got out at 3:30.

But the point is, exhausted.

My plan was to sing that night at a special open band/mic thing at Blend, accompanied by my buddy Todd on bass. This event didn’t start until 10:00 (plenty of time for a nap), and then I’d head to Peter and Lori’s party afterwards. Holiday weekend, let’s get started.

Todd called around 7:00; he’d checked out the club early, and assessed that it would be lame, or a bit of a clusterfuck, or both. So we decided against Blend. I crashed around 8:00pm, hoping I would get up later and go out, but knowing that it was a big risk. I was very tired, and I am terribly old.

But yay! I got up a bit before 11:00, and threw a hell of a face of makeup on (I’m good like that), and headed off into the night, feeling kind of excited and kind of… what on earth am I thinking? It’s like, the middle of the night?

My back, my mojo, my mojo’s back.

I’m gonna try a recap, without the fleshed out stories, and I’ll see where that takes me.

• Two weekends ago was Midsummer (summer solstice), and it was a lovely one at that. I brought two orzo salads, and I themed them to the occasion.

• I had a couple of interactions with Joe that led me to a couple of insights.

• Last weekend I went to an event that was lame but fun-ish. Something awesome happened with the jacket that Joe bought me almost a year ago.

• Work, as I’ve mentioned, has been not too happy. This was a short week (closing early Thursday, closed the 4th) and on Wednesday was a big office party. So it kinda sequenced like this… Stress, stress, upsetting, stress, one conversation with my new boss that offered a possibility of relief, getting very pretty and going to the party, fun, drinking, moving on to the after-party which was more fun and more drinking, and one very exhausted Thursday.

• Through all this my back pain is getting harder to work around.

• And yet Thursday night, after hours of napping, I woke up around 11 and went to a party at my friends Peter and Lori’s. They have the awesome parties with all the musicians. Short form: my mojo is back. And I’ve really, really been missing my mojo. Came home at 6am. It’s fun to do that a few times a year.

• Friday, the 4th, I slept most of the day, and then I hit two parties. Both very nice, very easy. But by the second one my back was out of control. And it was at that party that people started talking up their acupuncturist, who is a friend and who showed up minutes later. So he and I spoke and it was he that I went to see yesterday. That was about all I did yesterday. Canceled my plans to go to a drum circle at Orien’s, which I was really looking forward to… the first time seeing the family since Orien Rose’s surgery. Yesterday was mainly horizontal.

• But today, if I can handle it, I am going into the studio to do some singing on my tracks. No guitar, so I should be okay to manage it.

My back hurts. and that’s all there is to say about that.

Benjamin tunes his guitar.

So it’s either that I haven’t written because I’ve had nothing to say, or that I haven’t written because I’ve not been able to. This time it’s the latter. In addition to tired and busy, my back pain has moved to a state of emergency, and finding a position in my apartment to sit comfortably enough to write has been difficult.

Today I went to an acupuncturist I’ve heard great things about. It was around a three hour session. I think there may be some relief, but I’ll know more tomorrow, when I will go for a second session, and then a third later in the week. It was certainly a good experience, but I had to pay him up front (and submit to my insurance company after the fact) so it’s a bit of a hardship for me.

I really thought I was going to write more; I have some things I want to get into. But I’m done. Small bites. Back to bed.

Yeah. The photo is totally random.

Always be a supplicant

I’m here. I swear. I’ve just been pretty consumed with Mad Men blogging business.

Orien Rose got out of the hospital Friday after her surgery Tuesday. Beyond amazing.

I am having a difficult time with my job. I am trying to adjust, and always be a supplicant.

I am in oodles of back pain all the time, which viciously cycles with the not doing yoga (like, yoga will help, to a degree, but it is hard to get moving when it all hurts).

There are no men. Not in the woodwork, not in my back pocket. All the possibles have turned into closed doors.

I’m starting to shift into, Okay then. No men.

Being as that’s what I have anyway, I might consider accepting it. I know that’s what all the ‘It can only happen when you stop looking’ people mean.

I can’t stop looking. I can’t stop wanting it every day. It’s like, all I want; a love, a partner. I could have my mind on twenty other things, but if you pause me and ask me what I really want, my answer is right there without hesitation.

So that’s how I am. I have an interesting little Joe thing (actually a couple), but I need to get back to Mad Men, (my Season 1 DVDs just arrived!) and also, I’d rather post it elsewhere, not connected with all that.

PS it’s not all as bad as it sounds. I’ve been having some fun times, nice connectings, and I’m making some music. Plus the Mad Men blog thing is exciting.