Always be a supplicant
Posted by Roberta Lipp on July 1, 2008
I’m here. I swear. I’ve just been pretty consumed with Mad Men blogging business.
Orien Rose got out of the hospital Friday after her surgery Tuesday. Beyond amazing.
I am having a difficult time with my job. I am trying to adjust, and always be a supplicant.
I am in oodles of back pain all the time, which viciously cycles with the not doing yoga (like, yoga will help, to a degree, but it is hard to get moving when it all hurts).
There are no men. Not in the woodwork, not in my back pocket. All the possibles have turned into closed doors.
I’m starting to shift into, Okay then. No men.
Being as that’s what I have anyway, I might consider accepting it. I know that’s what all the ‘It can only happen when you stop looking’ people mean.
I can’t stop looking. I can’t stop wanting it every day. It’s like, all I want; a love, a partner. I could have my mind on twenty other things, but if you pause me and ask me what I really want, my answer is right there without hesitation.
So that’s how I am. I have an interesting little Joe thing (actually a couple), but I need to get back to Mad Men, (my Season 1 DVDs just arrived!) and also, I’d rather post it elsewhere, not connected with all that.
PS it’s not all as bad as it sounds. I’ve been having some fun times, nice connectings, and I’m making some music. Plus the Mad Men blog thing is exciting.
Oaktown Girl said
Excellent news about Orien Rose.
As far as those irritating fuckwads who love to preach that ‘It can only happen when you stop looking’ barrel of horseshit – fuck ‘em. They can choke on all that crap they’re shoveling for all the “truth” they preach. Sometimes it happens when you’re looking, and sometimes it happens when you’re not. There ain’t no damn rules. The happiest relationship I know of is my best friend and her(now)husband whom she met on a paid internet dating service. Beyond that example, another excellent relationship I know of is a friend who did the ol’ creative visualization/magic thing and made a list of qualities she was looking for in a man. Happily married for years now.
I do believe, as I’m sure you do too, that it helps to not put out a needy vibe, and to project some self-confidence and self-esteem. But neither of those things has to anything to do with whether one is actively “looking” or not. And as in any situation, sometimes if you’re straining too hard at something, it’s best to let it go for a bit and come back to it later when you’re not white-knuckling it. (I think it’s love connections made during these lull times that creates the myth that it only happens when you’re not looking).
Anyway, so sorry to hear about your awful back pain. Please take care of yourself and I hope you feel better soon.
(Hope I did not violate comment policy with my curse words. I just feel like such a hypocrite using *** instead of the full words.)
Roberta Lipp said
Oak, I had to dig, but I wrote about this topic last year (the ‘it only happens when you’re not looking as horseshit topic).
http://starsandmoon145.wordpress.com/2007/07/21/i-like-you-i-really-like-you/